Hayibo tryout

A group of Satirists put together an amazing site called Hayibo.com, about two months ago I wrote an article and sent it to them to see if they would maybe like to use it. They didn’t. Well, I didn’t even get a response from them, but I get a sneaky suspicion that it may have been more to do with being bad at responding to emails than not liking the article. Either way, it’s good for you because it means you get to read it here…

So here it is, hope you enjoy:

Cape Town – After the Democratic Alliance’s poor showing at the Municipal Elections 2011, they have launched a new multi-million rand advertising campaign called Operation Kaleidoscope and Kolour, or Operation KAK for short. Through the campaign the DA are hoping to show that they are more than just another white-supremesist party trying to take over the country.

The DA have come under fire over the past few months due to their controversial advertising posters featuring Helen, Patricia and that other black lady, confusing all the loyal DA supporters who up until now had thought the DA was strictly a whites only party. Helen Zille told the press two days before election day that this was not the case; “We will even take votes from people who are green with envy over our service delivery or blue from the cold of sitting on open air toilets, we don’t care what your true colours are!”

DA spokesperson Technicolourblind Whiteson explained that the idea hit them shortly after Helen Zille started dancing again and they hit the bar hard; “We were looking at the pretty and colourful posters we put up all over the country, with the white and the blue and the White and the Coloured and that other lady who’s name I can’t pronounce and it reminded us of the test pattern screens that TV1 and CCTV used to show back in the good old days when TV was TV and the news presenters kept their clothes on. We call it progress.”

The DA’s advertising consultants latched onto this idea and took it a step further arguing that if you can use a few colours then you can use them all and opened up a competition for Grade 1 learners to submit the most colourful drawings they could. Six year old Mary Smith won the competition with a drawing of a rainbow, her prize was an XXL DA t-shirt left over from last week .

Whiteson officially announced on Monday that “For the next four years we’re just going to put up rainbow posters and stick rainbow stickers on our cars, let’s see the ANC beat that!”

At the announcement press conference when political analysts suggested this new tack may be a bit Camp, Whiteson looked confused and said, “It’s got nothing to do with camping or caravanning or any outdoor activities, this is politics man!” and ended the conference saying, “All in all we think the future of the DA is bright and pretty with a pot of gold at the end of our rainbow… as long as Helen doesn’t start dancing again.”